I heat up, I can't cool down
You got me spinning
'Round and 'round
'Round and 'round and 'round it goes
Where it stops nobody knows
-The Steve Miller Band
A close girlfriend of mine came over for a coffee today. She is a fellow comic/actor/writer. We talked about creativity and productivity. She reminded me of something very important that I seemed to have blown over for the past while. She reminded me to believe in magic. I’ve been panicky over my career.
If show people could do anything else, they would. Or at least, they should. It sits on a scale of pretty constant rejection & judgment coupled with the high of using your imagination and having the ability to move people in some capacity. Or selling Tim Horton’s. But when you’re really in the moment- when you get that golden opportunity to perform- it’s like magic. And somehow, unfortunately, I’d forgotten that feeling. Clearly this is a sign that I feel creatively stifled. Codename: I need to write more, joke more & act more. It’s that simple.
At various stages of my turbulent career, people have sometimes asked me if I had a “plan B”. I’ve always been of the opinion that if you have a backup plan, it’s because you intend to use it. Some people close to me (mostly my various shrinks) think that my life might’ve been a little easier had I chosen a more “stable” vocation. Fuck That. (This is not to shit on a plan B! Plan Bs save lives! It’s just not for me. Right now. Right now I’d prefer to believe in magic.)
I chose this life & I love it more and more. There are peaks and there are valleys. Everything is temporary. But such is life for everybody. Whether you’ve been in show business, are still, or never have been. I’ve been so fortunate. I’ve had unyielding love & support from my family and friends & I’ve had opportunities I never would’ve dreamed of. I’m so lucky that I get to do what I love and luckily, some people think I’m good at it.
And that my friends, is magic.