Monday, September 13, 2010

Let The Wine Of Friendship Never Run Dry

13 years ago, I moved to New York City & lived in a TINY 2 bedroom apartment with SCULLY, CHAFED NIPPLES, & NEWSIE. We were all going to theatre school, & fostered the romance of being poor, struggling artists living in the Big Apple. Our place was so small each room only fit bunk beds- not even a double bed, or 2 singles. The bathroom was in the kitchen & we had a rodent we affectionately/maliciously named, “you dirty rat”. He would eat through our loaves of bread, turn on the stereo, dart around in the shadows like the criminal he was, & freak us out. We lived in Manhattan, at the corner of 52nd st. & 9th ave, above a restaurant that stank up our digs like enchiladas & hot garbage. There are (many) tales of (the) two bedrooms, & it was definitely the best of times, & it was the worst of times. It’s not for nothing that upon my return to Canada at 23, I suffered a nervous breakdown. (See July 28th 2010 post, “Great Girl. Too Bad She’s Crazy”) That said, I have more fond memories from that time in my life than any other. Scully & I shared our room, were in classes all day long together, worked the same part-time job, & were both in love with the same man. Needless to say, much off-stage drama ensued. To our credit, we are still very close friends & we try to see each other & speak as often as possible. She currently lives in Vancouver with her husband. The two of them are here, because he has a film playing at TIFF this week. Chafed Nips, Scully, Newsie & I are trying to plan a dinner together. I can’t remember the last time the 4 of us were in the same place, at the same time. There was a time when that only seemed to happen at funerals, and then Scully’s wedding a few years ago. Unfortunately, it’s been very difficult for us to find a time that suits all of our busy schedules this week. It doesn’t seem like that long ago when we ate every meal together. We’ve all grown up, have our careers to look after, spouses (or lack-thereof), & life in general to take care of. It seems our alliance is no longer a priority. I understand the criterion of life, & it’s not personal. It just makes me long for time gone by. Newsie used to try to cheer me up by saying, “Claire, we wake up, and we do the best we can.” I think about that a lot. Mostly because lately, I really am trying to do the best I can. The Manbbatical has turned into my year of self-improvement, & I feel like I’m pushing myself harder than I ever have before. It’s empowering. I know I often complain about being lonely & horny- and I am- but there’s something really wonderful about it. Maybe it’s because this project is finite. I know I wont be alone forever, & how often do we get the chance to take a year to have no responsibility to anyone but ourselves? I really am trying to exercise Newsie’s adage. I’m trying to make the best decisions possible. I’m trying to think before I speak. I’m trying to treat others the way I’d like to be treated. I’m trying to be as honest as I can. I’m trying to live in the moment. I’m trying to be good with money. I’m trying to eat well & be healthy (though still smoking, which is bullshit). I’m trying to be a woman of my word. No question, there are flaws in my execution- but I’d prefer to try & be better than I am instead of resigning myself to complacency & nothing more. I know people like that. They are happy, & good for them. It’s not good enough for me.
I miss the New York afternoons when Newsie, Chafed Nips, Scully & I would hang out. I love them all SO much. We’re often spread out all over the planet now, have different social circles & our lives are set asunder. They are always in my heart. I really hope we get to be together this week, for no other reason than to celebrate our past, present & future. Well, we will do the best we can.

4 comments:

Lisa said...

I never understood how people could actually LIVE in Manhattan. Brooklyn, different story...

claire elyse said...

someone voted it crappy!sad face...

Anonymous said...

this is NOT crappy.

this is a real nice one...

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claire elyse said...

AUDI!!! i love you.

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