Saturday, October 9, 2010

Climb Every Mountain

In the Roman Catholic Church (my gentility), there are venial sins, & mortal sins. Venial sins don’t result in eternal damnation, whereas mortal sins alienate the sinner from God’s grace, & their soul becomes dead. I have confessed my forgivable sin (of making-out, breaking rule #2), therefore receiving from the sacrament, the grace to overcome it. I’m going to stop crucifying myself over it.
This past week was a declention of bad decisions. Things have been going extremely well for me, in the past few months. The fruits of my labor have been ripening, & I’ve felt completely footloose & fancy-free. You’d think by this point in my life, I would have remembered that there is no way of avoiding struggle, or defeat. However, I believe that having come face-to-face with those adversaries was a blessing in disguise. After all, who would I be today if I always won at everything? How would I develop my strength, how would I progress? What would inspire me, if not overcoming the obstacles? I have always believed (though PEACOCK & BAIT very sweetly reminded me) that the true measure of one’s competence & worth are not from his/her mistakes, but how one overcomes them. I think that was one of the reasons it was so important for me to be honest about what happened with MAGIC TRICK. 1st of all, if I lied about it, how could I take myself or this project seriously? How could I expect anyone else to? Mark Twain once said, “Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it.” I may have fucked up, but I admit my guilt, I forgive myself, & am moving on.
It’s important that I remember why I started this man-cleanse, to begin with. It’s not about book deals, readership, & press (though admittedly, those consequences do excite me). It’s about changing my life, taking charge of what was spinning rapidly out of control, & becoming a healthier, finer woman. Putting it all out there for the world to read raises the stakes. It makes me accountable to not only my conscience, but also my faithful readers & friends who are rooting for me. That make-out session was a reality check. I don’t have it all figured out, in fact- far from it. I’m still climbing towards that summit, one step at a time. There are sure to be missteps & fatigue along the way. I can hear you cheering me on, from the other side. It makes it so much more worthwhile & enjoyable to me.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving, Canadians. (Enjoy your weekend, rest of the world.) I’m thankful for all of the comments, emails, texts, phone calls & hits on my blog supporting me along the way. I will climb this mountain, yet. Just wait and see!

PS. I'm still really fucking horny, in case you're wondering.


sugarpop said...

I'm glad you didn't decide to give up, I've been getting hooked on your stories, keep up the good work!

claire elyse said...

THANK YOU, sugarpop! xoxox

claire elyse said...

this is my horoscope for this week, starting LAST thursday, as posted by "freewill astrology" (by rob bresny), in toronto's NOW magazine:
"Pisces Feb 19| Mar 20 In Germany, people can pay the weather service to have a storm or weather system named after them. A normal rainstorm costs just over $250. That’s the kind of event I’d want to give your name to in the coming week, Pisces – not a full-on destructive tornado or hurricane, but rather a healthy squall that makes everything wet and clears the air. You definitely need to release some tension in a dramatic way, but not in a melodramatic way."
i'm not sayin', i'm just sayin.

Victoria Secret said...

my god your a winy lady. Im voting this crappy

Anonymous said...

I'm voting the last comment crappy.

claire elyse said...

dear victoria secret,
did you mean, "you're" & "whiny"?
ps. go fuck yourself.

allofyou said...

those that rate this crappy and complain about the post---why are you reading it, then? the internet is full of blogs...pick one you enjoy. negativity is a waste of time and surely not welcome here.

(or, simply, go fuck yourself.)

claire elyse said...

@AOY: i love you! my sentiments, exactly.

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