Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Last Crusade

Professor Henry Jones: Elsa never really believed in the grail. She thought she'd found a prize.
Indiana Jones: And what did you find, Dad?
Professor Henry Jones: Me? Illumination.

I have 4 days left. FOUR. FUCKING. DAYS. It’s all I can think about. It’s what I dream about. It’s what most everyone I come across talks to me about. I know & don’t expect anyone to care about it the way I do, but many seem curious.
CREW has been in Toronto for work the past couple of days. (If you don’t remember who “CREW” is, read this: ) He’s staying in a hotel. If you’re an avid reader of my blog, you know that hot-hotel-sex is one of my all-time favorite things. He messaged me & texted me a couple of times to hook up with him, while he’s here. I didn’t do it. I wanted to. Badly. But I didn’t. Upon talking to SCULLY about my dilemma, she reminded me of Elsa plummeting to her death in an abyss, upon giving into her temptation & obsession for the Holy Grail (in Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade, obviously). It just isn’t worth it. Indiana would have suffered the same fate, had Henry (his father) not urged him to let it go. I guess in this story, I’m Indiana, SCULLY is Henry, & CREW’s love-torpedo is the Holy Grail.
I should be honest & tell you my decision to stay strong, was made easier by the fact that I have a houseguest this weekend: an old friend & comic from out of town “NOT STEVE”. NOT STEVE needed a place to crash in Toronto. I obviously wasn’t going to bring a dude back to my tiny abode to have some awkward non-but-almost-sex with NOT STEVE in the next room, or tease CREW to the point of blistering blue-balls, like I did last time. Also, I wasn’t going to go to his hotel & not come home to hang out with my pal/guest who I rarely see. Most importantly, I shouldn’t be treading on such thin ice when I have but a few days to go. All I’m saying is, I’m strong- but there were factors in my corner to help me be so. Man, how I wish CREW’s bid-ness trip could have been delayed by a week. I would have destroyed him AND his Holy Grail.
At brunch this morning, NOT STEVE & I ran into my friend SKYWALKER. SKYWALKER insisted that I MUST sleep with someone on the day of the Manbbatical completion. I told him I really didn’t think that was going to happen, but reminded him of my drinking problem, so really- anything’s possible. SKYWALKER says that since I’ve made such a big deal about it being a YEAR that I need to bring that year to a close, properly. He described it as doing press & promos & trailers for a big film, & upon it’s release date, telling crowds the movie’s actually not opening that night. But it’s not a movie. It’s my life & it’s sex. It’s not a joke- it’s something I take pretty seriously, especially now.
Or DO I? Who knows… this year was meant to clarify certain issues for me, & now I feel more confused than ever.


Anonymous said...

forcing yourself to sleep with someone on may 18 as the proper finale to this year is, how you say? fucking retarded. you'll be completely objectifying yourself, the other person, and the sexual experience, something you've tried to avoid by taking the year off.
but, i mean, if it happens "organically"- that's a different (and better) story.
good luck.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Anonymous. It's making the 'event' sound like a chore/obligation which certainly won't enhance the experience for you or the man involved.

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