Thursday, June 2, 2011

One Night Love Affair.

It’s been over two weeks since the completion of the project, & still nothing’s happened. Were it not for the Manbbatical, I doubt I would feel such pressure. Because of the deadline & the public awareness of my situation, I feel like maybe I need to make something happen. Also, I’m horny. I told myself I wouldn’t make any 1st moves, that I’d wait until a gentleman asked me out. BAIT doesn’t think I should throw it away. I don’t either. At the same time, I don’t think either one of us would argue that there’s something to be said for scratching an itch.
Yesterday, I was thinking about going to a bar, picking up a random stranger, & telling to not talk to me- only fuck me, unless it was to tell me how sexy I am. I don’t think I would have the balls, or the audacity. I also think that when it came down to it- I wouldn’t like that. Who knows? I suppose it’s not THAT different from talking to a guy for a couple of hours & going back to his place. Maybe I’m becoming paranoid or I’ve been watching too many murder shows, but it’s occurred to me over the past year+ how dangerous that is. It must be so scary having daughters. Or sons!
I was very young when I had my 1st one-night stand. I was sixteen years old. The guy was in his early 20’s. In his defense, I looked much older than my actual age (I used to get into bars very easily from the tender age of fourteen) & I never told him he was about to commit a felony. It didn’t occur to me (or I didn’t care) at the time, but had I informed him of this, he might have reconsidered trying to bone me. (The weird part about this story is that the guy turned out to be a hermaphrodite. Seriously. Both parts: just no boobs. He was beautiful guy- a model- who was definitely androgynous looking, but that kind of whammy would surprise me NOW, let alone at 16.) We never really spoke after that night, but I thought about him a lot.
I’ve had a few one-night stands. Not many, for a woman who’s been sexually active for 20 years. Rarely do I leave satisfied. Usually I leave knowing I’ll never see that pair of earrings I forgot on his nightstand again, ashamed or angry for faking an orgasm… knowing I’m doing a disservice to women everywhere & that I’m going to have to finish myself off alone, at home.
I’m not knocking one-night stands at all. I think they can be great. But I do think I’ve answered my own question- I think I’ll keep waiting for a gentleman I like to ask me out.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

In Quebec 16 was/is the legal age of consent.

claire elyse said...

it actually happened at ryerson in toronto. either way- i still say 16 is too young- transexual or not.

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