In less than a week, I’m moving to Los Angeles. It’s not the 1st time I’ve left Canada to live in the States- but I feel pretty confident that it’s going to be the last.
There are so many things I love about my native country that I know I’m going to long for, but the silver lining of American things to come is almost blinding.
I’ve decided that I should list all of Canada’s most appreciated gifts to me, as to be grateful & acknowledge their positive effect on my life. Also, I love making lists, because I am a giant nerd.
*List not in particular order
**Blanket/GENERAL statements/MY Canadian experiences
1. The CBC. Yes, we all know they have produced some horrific shows & terrible “celebrities”. They have also given us amazing comedy (Kids In The Hall, for that ass?) news (George Stroumboulopoulos ladies & germs? Cute & smart no matter WHO you like to eff) & radio. Umm, like Day6, for example- for which I am a regular contributor. Obviously great. Or Jian Ghomeshi! I think we can all agree it’ NOT cool to dislike Jian or George. They ARE cool, whether you want to believe it or not.
2. Same-sex marriage. If straight people are dumb enough to get married, gay people obviously should have the same stupid right. This isn’t even debatable. People are people. Am I right, people?
3. NOW Magazine. I read arts weeklies from all over the world. NOW is the best. They don’t sell-out/they tell the truth, they take risks & represent & support Torontonians in a fantastic light.
4. Minimal gun violence. Look, I like murder as much as the next guy but I always prefer a nice light-saber or sword, obviously. Also, knife-fights rule! Who’s kidding whom here?
5. Porter Air. Umm… as someone who travels for a living- let me assure you, Porter is awesome. I’m very sorry to those who live on Toronto Island, but please think of the convenience for the rest of the country. Air Canada can seriously suck my balls.
6. Laid-back weed laws. Seriously, people. Let’s all relax & realize that weed is awesome.
7. Even though our Prime Minister is an evil, plastic-robot-man (& to this day I don’t know one single person that voted for him- though to be fair I make sure to keep good company) bent on ruining everything that makes out country great, we still seem to keep our socialist attitude.
8. MUSIC! All across this beautiful land, bands seem to spice up music with the perfect dash of Canadian-salt into the soup of the songs we love. My new obsession? The Sheepdogs. SO CANADIAN. SO CUTE. SO CLASSIC ROCK. And mostly, so YOUNG. What would we have done without Sloan, Blue Rodeo, or Rita Macneil? Weddings would be weirder, & we’d have no one to make fun of during the holiday television specials.
9. Ceasers. Kraft Dinner. Hippy-health-shakes in Banff. Labatt 50. Poutine. Steamies in Montreal. Beaver Tails on the Rideau Canal. Sugar Mountain. Montreal bagels. Milk in bags. Toutan in St.John’s. Fish tacos from the wharf in Vancouver. Hot chocolate while skating in Quebec City. Caramilk bars.
10. Free health-care. Need I say more? I don’t think so.
I’m excited to go. I’m just continuing on this weird life path & see where it takes me. At the same time, I feel like I’m completely starting over. Either way, it’s a big change. I like change. I’m forcing myself to like change. Since it’s the only thing we can ever really count on, I figure I may as well try to get on change’s good side.
Wish me luck if you feel like it. I’ll miss you, Canada. I’ve always loved you & I always will but just like our Canadian crime-fighting dog The Littlest Hobo once barked, “Maybe tomorrow, I'll want to settle down. Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.”