Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Going Bananas

Because I've been very public about my disease and the affliction it causes me, several people (who are also suffering) have been brave enough to reach out to me. Whether it's for support or clarity, they had the courage to recognize that their torment was no longer tolerable. I'm honored and grateful that they trust me or care for my opinion and advice. I try to offer what they need for the long term. Unfortunately that will is simply out of my jurisdiction. Part of what keeps me intact is always having a creative outlet, and my vein has been this blog. If a glimpse into my curious crusade has moved you in some way, I am happily surprised. I love getting (positive) feedback though I don't expect it. I must remind all of you however, that not only am I rehabilitating myself physically and emotionally- I still have significant memory loss. Maybe I keep reminding you of that and I keep forgetting.
To give you an idea, I keep texting pictures of banana peels on the sidewalk to my best friend because (regrettably) I secretly wish for the day when I actually see someone slip on one- as long as they don't hurt themselves. (Before judging: ask yourself if deep in your heart you don't find seeing someone in a neck-brace a fucking laugh-riot. That's pretty much the same thing).
It might have been weirdly cute after the first photo, but time and again I'm convinced I've never seen such a hilarious omen of possible misfortune laid at my feet. Don't get me wrong- my bestie loves French humor as much as the next guy- but reminding me that I've documented the fruit skin already has to be awesome/terrible for her. While it's a sign that I'm getting my sense of humor back, it simultaneously recalls the damage of my breakdown.
As basically as I can say, I am not restored enough to be a sounding board for those afflicted with mental illness. I wish so much that I could be. Maybe one day I will be strong enough to guide people who feel like they've wandered off the path. For now all I can enlighten you with is my experience, but that won't cure you. Therapy given by trained professionals usually can and is certainly a good start. If you're feeling rationally impaired, you need to get help. Though I want to be the one to relieve you, for the time being I can't.
Chances are I will mistakingly lead you right into a banana peel's way.


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