Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Inside My Vag(mobile).

Since I've had privileges (from within the nut-house) the first thing I do in the morning is saunter over to the Starbucks on the corner for a coffee (the hospital doesn't serve caffeine to the patients because it can trigger manic behavior & life's not worth living without my 1 cup of REAL coffee in the am). There's a beige- or as I like to call it, gold, since it's so much fancier- 2001 Chevy Malibu parked in front of the entrance every single day in the same spot. For those unaware, this is exactly the car that had carted me around for the last decade+ before I donated her to butt-cancer when re-admitting to the asylum.
We called her The Vag-Mobile, a moniker that one of my best friends @kvonhagen baptized her with upon realizing how often she transferred female comics from point A to point B. Vagy was a great car. She had more than 250 000km on her by the time she passed away. She rarely complained, rarely got sick & was a great sport no matter the company, weather or terrain. I think she knew the real meaning of happiness: it was about what she gave others, not about what she did for herself. She never made egocentric-emotional decisions: She could've spat & sputtered in extreme cold, she could've refused to bellow my music by spontaneously combusting a speaker. She never did. She understood the meaning of selflessness, and that's why so many people experienced such joy inside of her (and blow-jobs). She didn't judge me even while completely misbehaving. She took me on one of the greatest trips of my life across Canada & the USA with one of my all-time favorite people @PerdyA. She showed us to the greatest meat slathered in BBQ sauce in St.Louis and the breathtaking deserts of NM. Once in LA she never lessened her position beside the Bentleys and Veyron(s). She rumbled humbly holding her own beside them having nothing to prove but her ability to deliver my passengers and me.
If it is true that the meek shall inherit the earth (which plainly translates to the humble living in happiness) my little vag-mobile will and has. She gave to me ardently as she gave herself to the research and aid of prostate cancer. I miss her selfishly. I no longer know what will carry me to my destination. I think she died when she did because she knew the time had come for me to figure that out.
She was more than a car to me. She was an emblem of courage, determination and humanitarianism. The replica parked out front of the looney-bin is a reminder of that every morning. I'm grateful for the admonition. I'm grateful for the vag-mobile.


Anonymous said...

I heard your stand-up for the first time recently and it was great. Wow - you're really funny! Moreover, I read all of your blogs and find them quite insightful. Like you, I've had some issues with addiction and mental illness. Therefore, I find your candour refreshing. You have a new fan who wishes you good luck.

ClaireElyse Brosseau said...

thank you so much!

Anonymous said...

love this!

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