...there are not many things in life one can be sure of
except rain comes from the clouds
sun lights up the sky
winter turns to spring
a wounded heart will heal
oh but never much too soon
no one, and nothing goes unchanged...
Nina Simone's version of this song is breathtaking & if you don't feel the beauty of it in her voice than we are vastly different. I've always loved her & I always will. That much will go unchanged, I can guarantee it.
I on the other hand, I have changed. Let's face it. We're all always changing. I hope. Unless you have chromosomal or endocrine system abnormalities. If such is the case- that stinks & I'm sorry, but I'm appealing to the masses here.
Though I have regrets, I know that everything I've done in my life has led me to this place, right now. I'm still confused, I'll always struggle with mental illness and addiction but I do feel good today. I'm equal parts terrified as I am excited to leave hospital on Friday. I have changed. I'm no longer obsessed with removing my life from this planet & focused on making it as good as it can be. Because my condition is chronic I'm scared I'll fall back into self-hatred & self-medicating but right now I'm ready to grab life by the ball-sack & lick it all over. I realize sometimes when a scrotum is in our face a deep-throat jab can occur, which no one likes. But we move on. Sometimes it's for us, sometimes it's for them. Sometimes we spit, other times we take it in the chest and if you're with a Jew, swallow and confuse him. Like life, blow-Js are never cut and dry. BJs change over the years & BJs are never the same.
This may not be my most poetic post to date. In fairness I haven't been laid & I'm crawling out of my skin. Most of all, if you know me, I can make a BJ metaphor for anything. Today, it's life.
So here's to you, life.