Monday, April 8, 2013

The Road To Damascus

The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
-Mark Twain 
Yesterday I had brunch with some great friends of mine & drinks were to be had by all but me. It’s surprising how little this bothers me. It’s the drugs I miss like a phantom limb. I went outside for a cigarette (my last vice) with my pal @Lcasimiri, and for the sake of the metaphor he spoke to me of Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus. (For those unfamiliar with this story, it’s the one about Saul who saw a vision of the resurrected Jesus AKA the “light” while on his way to persecute Christians. He then changed his name to Paul, became an influential servant to Jesus Christ as his life changed after his dramatic epiphany. It’s actually a lot more complicated & interesting, but here I give you the Reader’s Digest version…) My buddy seemed to have ciphered all of my confusion, wariness & weariness into this one tale. Though it’s true that I neither went blind for 3 days, nor am I a martyr- but I might have been/be! Just kidding. (When I was suicidal I used to try & come up with causes that I might die for, therefore letting myself off the hook to seem better than I actually was. Crazy is as crazy thinks.)
Like Paul, I like to write, travel, believe in stuff in the most hardcore of ways & have inspiring revelations. Like Paul, I have been on a long, harrowing journey that I at first thought to be straightforward & manageable. It’s been nothing of the kind. I feel like I’m still waiting for that bright light to blind me & let me be directed toward my destiny. I actually think it’s happening under my long, commensurable, Italian nose. Who knows? Perhaps I am blind & being led. Maybe we all are.
If only it could be as obvious as a dead man appearing alive to me, telling me what to do. Then I would know for sure.


Post a Comment